HUGE GAP (3 years)

No way. I haven't posted in over three years. That's rich. I must admit, going over the posts of this old blog gives me the most familiar feelings. Three years later, I still suck. I don't suck nearly as much. I've straightened out many of my bad habits and I am certainly much more successful in life than my last update, but it's refreshing to see that there is someone that understands my problems that I have. Granted, that person is me from three years ago, but still, it's better than no one.
It seems obvious to me now what my strengths and the root of my problems were and how to handle them:
-Adam is a lone wolf, but he needs to ask for help/advice.
-Adam is a hard worker, but he makes excuses to waste time.
-Adam is an athlete, but he comforts himself with excessive food and leisure.

Interestingly enough, I've come a long way in three years. I've started a sales career, I lost fifty pounds, and I've learned to be more warm and welcoming. But I am not even close to where I need to be. Due to carelessness, I am out of a job (just resigned at mindSHIFT), I am out of an exercise regimen, and I don't really interact with the outside world much, at least lately.
So many new things have happened since my last post as well. I now have two beautiful boys. I love my Oscar and Allen. I live in Northern Virginia. Yes, I got out of Tulsa. But still, this "suck" that I spoke of is still right with me. It's no demon or force to be defeated. This "suck" is Adam Dispenza. It's not about killing a suck. It's about enriching my life. Fill the voids that the suck, well, sucks.
I am still not 100% healthy with my food choices. I've improved. I've cut calories from drinks. But I still have a way to go.
Video games still suck my life. I'm a sucker for video games. At this time, they do much more harm than good. I use them for the comfort they provide. But I shouldn't be playing, I should be creating. Doodle, write a story, learn a language, build your business. Create. Invent. The suck can not live in that environment.
I'm still a bit depressed. If there was some way to provide for my family on the condition that I had to die, I'd take it instantly. No thought required. I still feel hopeless at times. Yet, reading back on this blog, I see that I've made great strides. Perhaps this will be my year. 2012 had it's share of troubles, but it was great overall. So much achievement. 2013 got off to a rough start, but this will be better than the last.

I give you hope, Mr. Adam. I wish I could write back and tell you. ORU was a mistake. Majoring in government was a mistake. Those two decisions are a thorn in my side today. Still, I've not made many mistakes. I think that I will even learn from them. And do better.

End.